Getting started with anything intimidating can be challenging at first. Need less to say, starting a blog should not be intimidating for any common person, but it is for me. I often use my anxiety as an excuse not to do things, but i have recently realized my anxiety is just one big condescending bully. I used to think it was my close friend, the only one who understood me, but now I see that it is something like a wall keeping me bound and chained out of reach from what I really want. I’m sure I will write more about anxiety as a whole in future posts, but for now, let’s move on.
I, like any other common human, have many dreams and many ideals. At times where I have nothing to do I picture myself in pleasant situations in which all of my wildest dreams have come true. Whether it’s being on the Ellen DeGenerous show, performing in time square on new years eve, traveling the world, or having one of my stories become a best seller, my imagination doesn’t know when to stop. On the flip side of that, my imagination has also been known to run towards the negative side of the spectrum during overwhelming periods with large obligations on my shoulders. I find myself doubting everything and anything I could or can do. It is a disease seeking to infect the hardy confidence I possessed during childhood. An illness manifested by the deprivations of my self esteem. Like Julie Andrews once sang “I must dream of the things I am seeking; I am seeking the courage I lack.”
I am not use to writing blogs, and I have no idea whether I will enjoy it or not. Once I get started, though, I hope to see it through and find some kind of success and enlightenment with each post. Thank you for taking the time to read this silly introduction.